There are lots of contradicting stereotypes about cheating: the girl’s heart just like man’s heart are prone to them, but women are naturally monogamous; adultery strengthens marriage; betrayal destroys relationships; only self-doubt people are cheating; you cannot rely on the loyalty of popular people. Let’s see what we discovered about cheating.
The grounds
Scholars claim that in terms of evolution, we are prone to betrayal. This is confirmed, for example, by the fact that there are three different systems in the brain that are responsible for sexual desires, romantic attraction and loyalty. That is why we can be in love with one person and have sex with another, not considering ourselves the criminals.
All the contradictions arise from public opinion and views on morality. On the one hand, monogamy has established itself as a social norm. On the other hand, each year, we commit more and more adultery than the previous year. This is largely due to female emancipation and the sexual revolution, which have turned promiscuity into an analog of perfectionism.
People want a lot: good work and money, great relationships and sexual freedom. Women, for instance, are becoming more economically independent, start to express their desires more actively. They no longer want to be “victims” of marriage and are more willing than ever to engage in sexual relations (even not with their husbands sometimes.) As for men, it has never been a problem, let’s be honest.
Just because we can
Many believe that the main reason for infidelity is problems in the relationship. However, about half of such love-rats say that they are completely happy in their relations with those whom they cheated on. And problems with a partner often turn out to be a consequence, not a cause of adultery.
Psychologists say there are several factors that usually ‘push’ for infidelity, the main one is the ability to do that.
That is why most adultery cases happen at work – the place where we spend most of our live hours. Moreover, the chances that the partner will cheat are higher if he or she travels a lot, and is well educated, lives in a big city, works in a large company and communicates a lot with friends (without you.)
No, this does not mean that you can prevent it from happening by locking your partner at home and forbidding him or her to go out. Firstly, the availability of opportunities does not always lead to infidelity, but can only stimulate it. Secondly, by restricting a person’s freedom, you will lose his trust and make him unhappy. In addition, there are loads of other factors that can lead to infidelity.
Income difference
Men and women who earn less than their spouses are more prone to adultery. Moreover, the less the partner earns compared to you, the more likely he/she will cheat.
On the brick of anniversary
An analysis of the data from Ashley Madison, an online dating site for married people, showed that married men are more likely to seek for some pleasures ahead of the anniversary. According to The Wall Street Journal, this pattern holds true for women as well. Curious statistics.
Menstrual phase
Women are more prone to cheating during ovulation. Evolutionary biologists believe this may be a trick of nature to increase the chances of procreation. So, men, know your girls’ periods – prepare bonds to hold her fire.
Uncertainty in a partner
Doubts can lead to cheating. This is another reason to start talking frankly with each other.
Orgasm simulation
Girls who pretend to be happy in bed are more likely to cheat. Logical, right? And again, be honest with each other.
Religiosity
Deeply religious people are less prone to betrayal than atheists. No offense, guys, that’s statistics. And as we know, there are lies, damned lies, and statistics.
How do we react to infidelity?
Infidelity is not a universal concept. For one person, a kiss on the cheek is already a betrayal, and for another, petting may not fall into the category of infidelity.
Gender affects the perception of adultery
Heterosexual people tend to react differently to infidelity, depending on the gender of the person with whom they were cheated on. Men are more likely to end relationships if a girl cheats with another man. The cheating of a partner with a woman, on the contrary, is able to excite her young man.
If a girl finds out her man cheated on her with another man, she will be less upset, but would rather think about breaking up the relationship.
We think that they cheat on everyone but us
According to a survey, American students believe that about 42% of people of the opposite sex are prone to cheating. However, only 5% of respondents said they suspect a partner of past infidelity, and 8% expressed concern that they might be cheated in the future. 9% of respondents admitted to treason.
For men, the physical aspect of infidelity is more important; for women, the emotional
Heterosexual men will be more upset if a partner has sex with someone else, but does not fall in love. For girls in adultery, sex is secondary. The main thing is that the partner does not have romantic feelings for someone else.
In any case, it’s up to you – to cheat or not and how to react. There is no such notion as ‘Right.’ But always remember, karma is a bitch. xo xo