by Jessie Brewin If you are planning to start dating a widower, you should be prepared for a lot of obstacles, even if he lost his wife long ago. Learn how to recognize if he is really serious about your relationship, what problems may arise and how to cope with them.
First of all, we would like to note that everything is not so bad. It’s not that a widower can’t build a serious and healthy relationship with a girl. Of course, he can, and he will… if he’s ready.
Signs a widower is ready to move on
If you believe statistics, here is an interesting observation: widowers tend to recover more quickly. They are ready to build a new relationship in around a year, while women need more time – around five years.
So, here is how to tell if a widower is interested in you and ready for a serious relationship.
1. He introduces you to his family
That’s a universal sign of any serious relationship. But in case one partner is a widower, the value of this gesture is much greater.
And if he introduces you to his children, that’s the sign of trust and deep affection. But of course, it may take more time for him to introduce you to his kids, especially little ones.
2. He speaks about the future of your relationship
If he is serious, he will plan your future together. And he will let you know that. Though usually, men aren’t so willing to speak about the relationship, they won’t mind discussing engagement and even future marriage if they are really serious.
3. He isn’t pushy
If he insists on having sex as soon as possible, it may mean that he just wants a girl to satisfy his need. Nothing more. But if he reacts with dignity to your desire to wait till you get to know him better, he is serious.
If he makes you feel guilty if you refuse him, this man isn’t serious about building a relationship with you.
4. He doesn’t mention her often
If he doesn’t mention his wife regularly, that’s a great sign. He is not ready to move on if he thinks about her often if different little things remind him of her. Then he will speak about this woman often, which can mean he needs you as a rebound.
You need to remember that you can’t compete with his wife because of how he idealizes her. She is an ideal wife and mother. So, it’s better to leave this man.
5. He treats you well
What does it mean? If his words are always backed up by real action (he said he would drive you home, he does)
He initiates communications, asks you on dates, calls you, and asks how your day’s going and if you ate well today.
A couple of tips for dating a widower
You need to define your boundaries immediately
If the presence of his wife’s belongings in the house is unacceptable for you, clarify this point before dragging your suitcases to a new place of residence. In the event that a man refuses, it is better to say goodbye to him right away. As sad as it is to admit it, a place in his heart is still taken, and fighting for it is a dubious and hopeless act.
You should always remember that building a relationship with him is your decision
It’s you who chose a man with a difficult fate, you yourself started a romance with him, and you knew what you signed up for. Do not make scenes of jealousy because of the consequences of your own decisions. It’s like agreeing to become the second wife of the Sultan and then be offended by him not spending every second night with you. You fell in love with a widower, which means that, to some extent, you agreed to become “not the first and only wife.”
You should not try to be a new mother for his children
You can become their friend or “older sister”. You can even become their stepmother. But you will never replace their mother, and you also need to accept this as an indisputable fact. Therefore, you should treat them with love, respect, and great patience. Even if the children hate you (and this is a possible outcome of events), you do not need to respond with anger to anger, but you need to treat them with understanding and hope that one day they will grow up and change their attitude.
Do not allow anyone (including yourself) to compare yourself to his deceased wife
For some reason, the man fell in love with you and decided to start a new relationship. It doesn’t matter if his wife was better or worse than you. You should be confident.
Conclusion
By starting a relationship with a widower, you let someone else’s tragedy into your life. Do not hope that one day it will end and you will become ordinary people. The pain of loss will forever remain a part of your beloved one, and therefore, to some extent, a part of you. If you are not ready, it is better to set the man free right away, without wasting your and his time. If you are still sure of your choice, be patient: the path is long and difficult.
We wish you happiness with your beloved person,
Your Flisk ❤️
