by Teresa Greenleaf One popular relationship question sounds: “How long should I wait for him to propose?” No, it is not asked by girls who are in a relationship for 3 months. These are questions from girls who are in a long-term relationship. The partners have already introduced their parents. They have common friends. However, the wedding has never been discussed. Everything would be fine, but the couples have been together for 3-6 years. The girl is ready for more, while the man is not taking any action.
Does it make any sense to expect this step from your boyfriend?
Let us turn to studies of the courtship duration before marriage. In recent years, quite a few have been conducted. However, the average figure ranges from 6 to 14 months. According to the study, Ted Houston, a leading researcher on transitions in relationships, marriage and parenthood, happy couples date for about 25 months before marriage.
Another study stated that, on average, couples decided to get married 2.8 years after they first showed romantic interest (many couples knew each other before they met, but this does not count). One general tendency toward later marriage can also be highlighted.
What does this mean?
The story of each pair is unique. However, mutual agreement and acceptance of related obligations are the most important thing. The question “when” is an indicator that the marriage deadline has already expired. Perhaps you even feel anxious and disappointed about the future of your relationship. Before you start a conversation about the wedding, ask yourself these 4 questions.
1. Can you accept your relationship as it is and abandon the expectation of marriage?
Marriage gives certain legal advantages but does not affect the level of harmony in the relationship.
2. If not, are you ready to defend what you want? Are you strong enough to leave?
The conversation about a wedding can have not only a happy-end. Being lonely can be painful, but ultimately it’s better than being in an unhappy marriage.
3. What problems can hold your partner back?
On the one hand, if you are still in college or graduate school and are not financially stable, marriage might not be a good idea. A 30-year-old guy in a long-term relationship with a permanent job does not have the same excuse.
4. Are you able to wait?
Getting married is a serious and responsible step. In no case, this decision should be hasty. Sometimes the desire to get the enchanted ring overrides all rational arguments.
You will have to look for answers in your heart and your head. Be correct when planning a conversation with a partner. Good luck and stay tuned for our new posts!
