Week 3. Matched by Design: Using MBTI to Find Your Perfect Partner

Ever heard of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, commonly known as MBTI? It’s a renowned psychological compass guiding countless individuals to discover one out of 16 unique personality shades. After answering a set of questions, you get results about your personality type that describes the way you view the world and make choices. The brains behind this insightful tool? This test was founded by Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter Isabel Briggs Myers, who based the work on the theory of the great Carl Jung.

How Does MBTI Work?

MBTI takes the complex universe of human psychology and breaks it down into bite-sized, relatable pieces. Ever wonder why you either crave a buzzing social gathering or a cozy night with a book? Why do you rely on facts, or trust your gut? The MBTI framework has got answers for you. Likewise, MBTI can help you understand why you choose some partners instead of others and who can be a great match for you based on their personality. MBTI consists of eight dimensions in four different categories.

Extraversion (E) vs. Introversion (I): This is all about where you draw your energy from. Extraverts thrive in vibrant environments, love group chats, and process life externally. On the other hand, Introverts find power in solitude, tend to be introspective and cherish their inner world.
Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N): This one’s about how you process information. Sensors are realists who trust tangible facts and experiences. In contrast, those with a knack for Intuition lean towards patterns and possibilities, often preferring a bird’s eye view over nitty-gritty details.
Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F): Decision-making gets interesting here. While Thinkers opt for objective logic, weighing pros and cons, Feelers prioritize emotions, often factoring in how choices affect those around them.
Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P): Finally, this dictates your approach to life’s plans. Judgers love structure and decisiveness. They’re the list-makers and the planners. On the flip side, Perceivers embrace spontaneity, feeling more at ease when they go with the flow.

Mix and match these characteristics, and voilà! You have 16 MBTI personality types. Why is this cool? Well, understanding your MBTI can give insights into potential relationship dynamics, making connections even more meaningful. Now let’s discover a little more about yourself!

Unveiling the Intricacies of the MBTI Personalities

ISTJ: The Dutiful Achiever

ISTJs are typically seen as reserved and methodical. Their knack for detail and practicality anchors them firmly in reality. Driven by responsibility, they methodically plot their course and resist any derailment. Their life’s joy? Imposing a sense of order in everything, from their workspace to their personal den. For them, traditions and unwavering loyalty are the bedrock of relationships.

ISFJ: The Empathetic Steward

Gentle and harmonious, ISFJs are the unsung heroes who keep things ticking with their relentless consistency. Their observant eyes miss no detail, ensuring precision in every endeavor. Their hearts beat with loyalty and a genuine concern for others, remembering the little things that make one feel special. Above all, they champion harmony and structured peace in their surroundings.

INTJ: The Strategic Innovator

In the vast galaxy of ideas, INTJs are the ones connecting stars and forming constellations. Their forward-thinking nature, coupled with an innate drive, propels them to bring transformative concepts to life. With an astute analytical mind, they craft far-reaching plans and tenaciously follow them. They relish independence and maintain an ever-watchful eye, ensuring that they, and those around them, excel at every task.

ISTP: The Analytical Problem-Solver

ISTPs can be likened to still waters. They are calm on the surface but teeming with activity underneath. People of this type spring into action when challenges surface, exerting their razor-sharp analytical prowess. Passionate about understanding the machinery of the world, they dissect complexities with logical precision. For them, the mantra is simple: understand, adapt, and enhance efficiency.

ISFP: The Harmonious Realists

ISFPs radiate a tranquil and amiable energy. Their compassion and attentiveness make them uniquely tuned in to the here and now. Valuing personal sanctuaries and the luxury of marching to their own rhythm, they remain steadfastly true both to their inner compass and to cherished individuals in their lives. Conflict isn’t their cup of tea, and they firmly believe in letting others be, refraining from imposing their beliefs on anyone.

INFP: The Dreamer’s Compass

With hearts ablaze with idealism, INFPs are the embodiment of unwavering loyalty to their values and special individuals. Driven by an inextinguishable curiosity, they’re always on the lookout for untapped potentials, kindling the flames of innovation. Their innate gift to connect with souls helps them to uplift others, guiding them to soar to greater heights. Versatility defines them, but they draw the line when their foundational beliefs are challenged.

INTP: The Analytical Visionaries

INTPs dive into the ocean of logical connections, seeking answers to the most intriguing puzzles. Enthusiastically venturing into theoretical realms, they’re more enchanted by cerebral quests than casual banter. Gifted with an unparalleled concentration, they can dissect intricate dilemmas with ease. Their inquisitive nature is always armed with a critical lens, dissecting information with razor-sharp analytical prowess.

ESTP: The Dynamic Pragmatists

ESTPs dance to the vibrant beats of the present, armed with an adaptable and open-minded ethos. For them, theories are mere wisps of clouds; it’s the concrete results that truly matter. They’re spontaneous beings, living for the thrill of engaging in interactions and immediate challenges. Reveling in life’s luxuries and possessing an eye for flair, they believe in learning by rolling up their sleeves and diving straight into the action.

ESFP: The Vibrant Collaborators

ESFPs exude a magnetic charm, embracing everyone around them with open arms. More precisely, they weave into their work a brilliant amalgamation of pragmatism and playfulness. It is a feeling of readiness for new adventure, and lightness in adjusting to any change Instead of solo ventures, they flourish when they can dive into learning and exploring new avenues side by side with fellow enthusiasts.

ENFP: The Passionate Visionaries

With hearts alight with fervor and minds teeming with creativity, ENFPs see a world bursting with endless wonders. They possess an innate ability to weave seemingly unrelated threads into meaningful patterns. Craving genuine connections, they thrive on mutual encouragement and are generous with their own affirmations. Equipped with a natural gift for words and adaptability, they effortlessly steer through diverse scenarios.

ENTP: The Intellectual Explorers

With minds that never seem to rest, ENTPs are always on the lookout for the next big thing. Their insightful remarks, combined with a candid demeanor, often set them apart in a crowd.They conceptualize new ideas and are able to critically evaluate them while possessing that deeply set talent for reading between the lines in interacting with others. They would always prefer the less beaten path and, so to say, are permanently traveling on it, both in thought and action.

ESTJ: The Practical Trailblazers

For the ESTJ, pragmatism is the name of the game. Their no-nonsense attitude propels them to make hard-hitting moves and turn visions into reality by action. Masters of orchestration, they deftly steer resources and individuals towards predefined goals. They have an unwavering commitment to clarity, logic, and consistency in their endeavors, anticipating the same commitment from their peers. Their dedication is nothing short of a driving force, pushing boundaries wherever they tread.

ESFJ: The Compassionate Pillars

Exuding warmth and understanding, ESFJs play the nurturing role to perfection. With an innate sense of duty and a collaborative spirit, they tirelessly strive to create harmonious environments. Their loyalty isn’t just a trait; it’s an unwritten promise, evident in their consistent actions. Remarkably attuned to the needs and desires of those around them, they gracefully cater to them. In the eyes of an ESFJ, acknowledgment isn’t about vanity; it’s about recognizing heartfelt efforts and genuine connections.

ENFJ: The Empathetic Changemakers

ENFJs are charismatic leaders, but they make sure everyone’s needs are heard. They are outstanding at reading others’ emotional needs and helping people acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses. They help others work toward synergy and growth. Guided by a sense of higher values and meaning, they want to help others grow and develop to make the world a better place by balancing encouragement with a realistic dose of criticism.

ENTJ: The Visionary Commanders

Confident and assertive, the ENTJs assume leadership roles as a matter of course and take charge of ships to guide them to their destinations. They have an intuitive eye for spotting incongruities and, more importantly, plan efficient schemes to address them directly. An insatiable thirst for knowledge propels them to not only gather but also disseminate it. When they speak, they do so with a mix of confidence and authority, making their perspectives hard to overlook.

INFJ: The Insightful Visionaries

INFJs constantly delve deep into the realm of meaning, intertwining abstract ideas, interpersonal dynamics, and tangible entities in their quest for understanding. Fueled by an authentic and profound inquisitiveness, they seek to decode the underpinnings that propel human behavior and emotion, often demonstrating an uncanny knack for empathizing with diverse mindsets. Anchored firmly to a set of core principles, they navigate the world with a sense of purpose and ethics. Guided by a lucid vision of fostering positive societal transformations, INFJs meticulously strategize their path. As architects of change, they marry their organized thought process with unwavering determination, ensuring that their chosen course of action aligns seamlessly with their ideals.

How to Understand Your MBTI Type?

Engage in Profound Self-Contemplation

While undoubtedly challenging, an introspective journey can be one of the most insightful strategies. Delve deep within and ponder over your tendencies in diverse scenarios. Analyze your modalities of information acquisition, decision-making processes, interpersonal interactions, and your strategies when embarking on tasks or conceptualizing projects.

Delve into MBTI Literature

Rather than a cursory glance, immerse yourself in the nuanced details of MBTI typologies. By acquainting yourself with the intricate characteristics, proclivities, strengths, and potential avenues of personal development for each of the 16 types, you might unearth patterns that echo your own tendencies. This methodical exploration can illuminate which of the types finds its reflection in your persona.

Embark on Online MBTI Tests

While digital MBTI assessments can offer preliminary insights into your typology, they should be approached with a pinch of skepticism. Their efficacy is contingent on the authenticity with which you respond. Given that they often lack contextual depth and sometimes oversimplify the complexities of human nature, they might not be wholly accurate. However, as a starting point, and given their accessibility on numerous platforms without any financial obligation, they can serve as valuable initial guides.

Seek an Official MBTI Evaluation

True fidelity to the MBTI assessment requires a methodical, expert-driven approach. The MBTI isn’t merely a casual questionnaire but a profound psychological evaluation best administered by those with certified expertise. For a comprehensive, accurate depiction of your type, collaborate with a certified practitioner. The official Myers & Briggs Foundation portal provides both digital and in-person avenues to facilitate this intricate exploration.

Lesson 2. Are You Compatible with Your Partner based on MBTI theory?

Delving Deep into MBTI Compatibility

The intricate landscape of MBTI has given rise to numerous theories elucidating the compatibility dynamics between different personality types. Among a bunch of ideas, a select few draw our attention for their quite interesting insights.

Understanding MBTI Compatibility Through the Lens of Type Complementarity

Type Complementarity theory suggests that individuals with MBTI types that complement each other can potentially build more harmonious relationships. The essence of this theory is grounded in the belief that the contrasting preferences within certain dichotomies offer a harmonious balance, enriching the relational dynamics between partners.

Consider the dynamics between extraversion and introversion. Extraverts naturally prefer to be in busy social environments and seem to feed off of group energy, whereas introverts do best when they are alone and often use their time for thoughtful reflection. That combination of energies would suggest that an extroverted partner would add excitement and social stimulation to the relationship and would push an introverted partner to get out of their comfort zone. Conversely, the introspective introvert brings to the table a serene ambiance, affording the extroverted partner moments of tranquility and deep reflection.

Drawing a parallel, the dichotomy of thinking (T) and feeling (F) also exemplifies complementary potentials. Those leaning towards the thinking preference anchor their decisions in logical reasoning and objective analysis, whereas feeling-oriented individuals navigate situations with a compass of empathy and emotional resonance. When these contrasting perspectives converge in a relationship, the thinking partner can offer clarity and structured solutions in emotionally dense scenarios. In contrast, the feeling partner injects a dose of compassion and emotional nuance, paving the way for a richer emotional connection and mutual understanding.

The Intricacies of MBTI Compatibility Through Type Similarity

The conceptual framework of Type Similarity posits that individuals who share analogous MBTI profiles might discover heightened compatibility in their relationships. At the heart of this theory lies the notion that by aligning similar preferences across MBTI’s four core dichotomies, individuals can fortify mutual comprehension and deepen their bond. The foundational premise here is that these shared proclivities engender a unifying language and communication matrix, leading to more streamlined interactions and a greater degree of empathetic understanding.

Take, for instance, two individuals who both resonate with extraversion (E), intuition (N), feeling (F), and perceiving (P) preferences. Such individuals, due to their aligned cognitive processes and interpersonal modalities, may find their interactions more intuitive and harmonious. Their shared lens of understanding the world, assimilating information, rendering decisions, and participating in social exchanges creates inherent compatibility.

Nevertheless, it’s crucial to underscore that the Type Similarity theory doesn’t enjoy unanimous endorsement. There’s a consensus that myriad factors, encompassing shared values, overlapping interests, and individual evolutionary journeys, play pivotal roles in determining relational harmony.

Delving into MBTI Compatibility Through the Prism of Type Flexibility

Type Flexibility’s theoretical paradigm shifts the focus from stringent MBTI alignments to the fluid dynamics of individual adaptability within relationships. This theory magnifies the essence of malleability and resilience in navigating diverse interpersonal terrains.

According to the Type Flexibility doctrine, true relational compatibility is not imprisoned within the confines of matching MBTI types. Instead, it blossoms from an individual’s prowess in acclimatizing and empathizing with divergent personality profiles. By cultivating an ethos of acceptance, recognition, and accommodation of the nuances that punctuate different types and personalities, individuals can nurture an environment of mutual respect and deeper understanding with their partners.

A Deeper Exploration of MBTI Compatibility: The Dynamic Interplay of Type Pairings

Unraveling MBTI Compatibility through Defined Type Pairings Within the rich tapestry of MBTI compatibility theories, there exists a school of thought that ardently advocates for distinct type pairings. These pairings emerge from an intricate understanding of the cognitive functionalities unique to each MBTI type. The essence is that particular type combinations harmonize through mutually supportive cognitive processes, creating a synergy that magnifies their relationship’s potential. A classic illustration of this is the harmonious interplay between the INTJ (Introverted-Intuitive-Thinking-Judging) and ENFP (Extraverted-Intuitive-Feeling-Perceiving) personalities.

A comprehensive study, housed within the archives of ResearchGate, lends empirical weight to this theory. The study underscores that certain MBTI types demonstrate enhanced compatibility, stemming from shared interests and behavioral proclivities. Let’s delve deeper into some of these intriguing pairings:

ENFJ and INFP

The union of ENFJ and INFP is perceived as harmonious, primarily due to their shared ethos, profound emotional reservoirs, and mutual capacities for emotional support. Their shared Feeling (F) preference weaves a bond of emotional synchronicity. The ENFJ, with their structured approach, infuses the relationship with organization and decision-making prowess. In contrast, the INFP introduces a flair of imagination and adaptability, striking a harmonious balance. Their shared mission? The quest for an enduring romance. Their resilient spirits are driven to find equilibrium even in the face of relationship hurdles.

ENTJ and INFP

The dynamic between ENTJs and INFPs is enriched by their cognitive functions, seamlessly melding logical reasoning with emotional introspection. This relationship is the place for mutual evolution and understanding, where differences are celebrated and synergies forged. INFPs, enchanted by the passionate drive, unwavering confidence, and visionary leadership of ENTJs, often find themselves inspired, seeing their aspirations within reach.

Conversely, ENTJs find themselves gravitating towards the genuine warmth, innate creativity, and discerning demeanor of INFPs. They marvel at the INFP’s innate altruism and are often spellbound by their unparalleled ability to listen, finding solace and admiration in their aura.

INFJ and ENFP

The bond between INFJs and ENFPs is sculpted by shared intuitive, feeling-based compasses and an insatiable thirst for profound emotional connectivity. Their conversations often traverse intellectual depths, fortified by mutual respect for authenticity. The INFJ acts as the anchor, offering stability, while the ENFP infuses the relationship with vivacity and zest. Their symbiotic existence revolves around mutual values, understanding, and unequivocal acceptance.

INTJ and ENFP

The INTJ and ENFP relationship thrives on their complementary cognitive dynamics. The INTJ, grounded in logical precision and methodical planning, pairs beautifully with the ENFP’s reservoir of creativity and endless exploration of possibilities. Their mutual inclination towards intuition, abstract contemplation, and relentless pursuit of self-enhancement fosters a nurturing environment. The strength of their bond lies in their mutual admiration for differences and an unwavering commitment to supporting each other’s growth journeys.

ENTP and INFJ

At the heart of ENTP and INFJ compatibility lies their mixed cognitive functions, merging Extraversion with Introversion. Their conversations transcend surface-level chats, immersing them in profound philosophical musings. Rooted in a mutual appreciation for wisdom and personal evolution, their disparities often morph into sources of balance rather than disagreement. INFJs, with their introspective nature, become a serene haven for ENTPs during moments of deep contemplation.

ISFP and ENFJ

A harmonious resonance vibrates between the ISFP and ENFJ, courtesy of their aligned Introverted and Extraverted functions. They find unity in their shared values of relational authenticity and emotional depth. Their combined appreciation for aesthetic beauty, individual growth, and communication forms a deeply interconnected bond. ENFJs, articulate in emotional expression, coupled with ISFP’s genuine listening prowess, sculpt a beautifully balanced relationship.

ENTP and INTJ

These two types converge effortlessly, thanks to their mutual leanings towards intuition and logical reasoning. Their interactions are brimming with invigorating intellectual exchanges. The partnership thrives on ENTP’s adaptive spontaneity and innovative thoughts and INTJ’s methodical strategy and analytical depth.

INTP and ENTJ

INTP and ENTJ compatibility is underpinned by their contrasting cognitive dynamics. Their interactions swing back and forth between profound intellectual ponderings and pragmatic analysis. Their shared zeal for knowledge exploration and competence fortifies their bond. The pair’s mutual aspirations for success and professional growth invigorate their connection.

ESTJ and ISFP

The compatibility waters are muddier for ESTJ and ISFP types. While contrasting in many facets, their potential harmony stems from their ability to appreciate distinct strengths, mutual support, and communicative openness. The nuances of their individual relaxation preferences warrant mutual respect and understanding.

ESFJ and ISFP

An elegant synergy exists between ESFJ and ISFP due to their interconnected functions, Extraverted Feeling (Fe) and Introverted Sensing (Si). Their shared emotional depth and pragmatic engagement with the outer world serve as the bedrock for their relationship. Their combined value for relational harmony, personal growth, and mutual interests crafts a serene bond.

ISTJ and ESFP

Because of the extreme contrasts in their preferences, this couple is not considered as a classic match, but it is a marriage that can work, especially because of the diversity that it brings into the relationship. The structured pragmatism of the ISTJs and the vibrant spontaneity of the ESFPs together create a balance. Mutual support is a key tenet of their relationship, with ISTJs offering unwavering reliability and ESFPs injecting zest and spontaneity.

ISFJ and ESFP

ISFJ and ESFP share common ground in their emotional depth and sensory experiences. Their affinity for mutual understanding, appreciation for nature, gastronomic explorations, and tangible experiences fortify their bond. Their differences serve as a source of mutual learning and complementary strength.

ESTJ and ISTP

Although this match can hardly be named the best at first sight, the ESTJ and ISTP can find harmony in their shared values of independence and living in the moment. With mutual respect and preference for sensing, they can work through difficulties, using each other’s strengths for balancing the partnership.

ESFJ and ISTP

The ESFJ-ISTP compatibility spectrum is marked by varied expert opinions. Their mutual sensing preference can be a foundation for shared tangible activities. The success of this union depends on the ability of ESFJ to respect the independence of the ISTP and ISTP being emotionally open.

Lesson 3. What if You Are Incompatible with Your Partner?

While certain MBTI pairings naturally align more seamlessly, others may navigate through rougher terrains. However, recognizing challenging MBTI compatibility should not be an immediate cue to terminate a relationship. Genuine love transcends typological disparities, empowering couples to find common ground, grow, and glean wisdom from their unique differences. Indeed, certain combinations are traditionally viewed as more demanding, but this perspective offers its own opportunities for understanding and growth. For a comprehensive understanding, it’s beneficial to consult an MBTI compatibility chart, which can offer deeper insights into the dynamic interplay between different types.

INFP and ESTJ

A prominent disparity arises between INFPs and ESTJs, stemming largely from their divergent methodologies in decision-making and communication. Such discrepancies can breed frequent misunderstandings and discord. INFPs inherently prioritize personal values, individualism, and the articulation of emotions. In stark contrast, ESTJs lean towards a pragmatic outlook, emphasizing efficiency and adhering to well-set protocols.

ENFP and ISTJ

The pairing of ENFP with ISTJ encapsulates another challenging MBTI dynamic. ENFPs, characterized by their creativity, zest, and treasuring of personal autonomy, often find themselves at odds with ISTJs. The latter group, grounded in details and practicality, inherently seeks order and a structured environment. The resultant gaps in understanding each other’s perspectives can be profound. ISTJs inherently lean towards predictability, maintaining order, and strategic planning. Conversely, ENFPs gravitate towards spontaneity, adaptability, and embracing novel opportunities. Moreover, the pronounced variance in emotional expressiveness can yield misconceptions regarding each party’s emotional needs.

ENFJ and ISTP

The coupling of ENFJ with ISTP presents its own unique challenges, owing to their distinct communicative inclinations and decision-making paradigms. ENFJs are innately vocal and place a premium on emotional interconnections. In juxtaposition, ISTPs manifest a reserved demeanor, gravitating towards actionable, pragmatic communication channels. While ENFJs often adopt meticulous, premeditated strategies, ISTPs exude spontaneity and flexibility. These fundamental variances in life perspectives and communication can obstruct mutual understanding and alignment of needs.

ISTJ and ENFP

Another potentially intricate pairing is that of ISTJ and ENFP. The potential for discord emerges due to ISTJs’ inherent reticence and direct communication style, which stands in contrast to the effusive nature of ENFPs. While ISTJs approach situations with a logical, analytical mindset, ENFPs navigate scenarios with heightened emotional sensitivity. Consequently, ENFPs might perceive the methodical and plan-centric ISTJs as excessively rigid and uninspiring. Their opposing life perspectives and decision-making methodologies can become breeding grounds for potential disputes and misconceptions.

Hope that was inspiring! In our next lesson, we are going to discuss Enneagram and how it can help you find a compatible partner.

Your Flisk

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Week 3. Matched by Design: Using MBTI to Find Your Perfect Partner