The Swipe School

How to Swipe Mindfully and Find Your Perfect Match

If you are reading this, probably you are unsatisfied with something.. or someone. 

Some relationships have no future. That’s Ok, that’s life. Not all relationships are worth fighting. Review 12 signs that are literally telling you that it’s time to break up.

You have different goals

Even in the toughest times and in the moments of the hottest quarrels, awareness of a single goal becomes a lifeline for lovers. Conflicts and misunderstandings are everyday things on the way to realizing common dreams, but the presence of these dreams determines the total sense of the path.

If you want to become a mother in the near future and dream of your own home, and your lover does not consider the housing issue a priority and believes that the main thing in life is a career, and children only interfere with her, ask yourself: what, in fact, unites you? Sexual attraction and common friends are great, but what do you both want from life?

The lack of common goals will inevitably become a stumbling block in your relations and a cause of constant quarrels. As a result, one day, you will part, regretfully admitting that you simply wasted time.

You avoid sex, constantly

Of course, if you have been together for several years, it is somewhat naive to expect from each other a passionate ardor of first dates and sex several times a day – an uncontrolled drive over time gives way to harmony, warmth and tenderness. Stress at work, fatigue and poor health inevitably make adjustments to the schedule of intimate dates, but a deliberate avoidance of intimacy is another thing. If you notice that you are constantly looking for an excuse not to have sex with your partner, this is a pretty speaking sign.

You do not trust each other

Cheating or lies can not only provoke a crisis of relations but also deprive you of the ability to believe your love. Bringing trust back can take more than one year and requires a lot of mutual effort. 

Or it is necessary to pluck up the courage and admit that it is time to put an end to the relationship. If the bitter memories of betrayal continue to hurt you even after a long time, and every step of your lover leads to suspicion, seriously think about whether you need such torment. Keeping a relationship just for the sake of a relationship is not the best thing you can do.

Relationship do cause pain

Any relationship is a job, as a rule, challenging and requires compromises. However, sometimes, we confuse a compromise with the habit of constantly to be compelled. If the crisis of relations has dragged on, ask yourself: are you actually happy? What do these relationships give you – a feeling of warmth, comfort and security, or constant anxiety and unpleasant experiences?

You fall out over trifles

No exaggeration – you fight for any reason. If any fine point becomes a cause for conflict, and everything causes irritation – from his habit of singing in the shower (which used to seem so sweet before) to the manner of driving a car, you should ask yourself what is happening.

If chronic discontent is not related to external circumstances (for example, financial difficulties or a tense situation at work), then it is impossible to ignore it, especially if this discontent is mutual. It is possible that these quarrels are just the tip of the iceberg, and in reality, you are experiencing a crisis of relationship, the best way out of which, perhaps, is breaking up.

Some stupid series suddenly seems much more interesting

Suddenly, you begin to spend a lot of time doing all sorts of nonsense that you were not interested in at all before – just to avoid any communication with your partner. You can suddenly get carried away with a new series, find yourself plunged in a new hobby, or simply start to sleep more, but avoiding, for instance, “extra” sex is an obvious sign that something has changed in your relationship. If you caught yourself using any excuses not to find time for your partner, most likely, the time has come.

Your work begins to take up all your time

As with the previous paragraph: using work to spend less time with your partner is a very common sign of an upcoming breakup. Staying up late at the office, you can just try to avoid encountering problems in relationships waiting for you at home. 

Remember: avoiding a partner will not make your relationship better, but a frank conversation about why you do not feel happy can very well. Share your doubts and listen to what your partner will answer you. You will either solve the problem or come to a joint conclusion that both of you no longer need it. In any case, you should not let work take the place of romance in your life.

You seriously crush on someone else

If you are seriously interested in new people or, even worse, already have a certain candidacy – it’s time to move on. The fantasies themselves of a parallel reality in which you are free are completely normal. But fantasies about your life together with another person are no longer good. If you caught yourself in your daily thoughts about someone else, time to say goodbye to your partner. Even if you are no longer interested in your current relationship, your other half deserves you to finish them first before rushing headlong into the pool of new passion.

Your partner annoys you terribly

When your partner begins to annoy you, this is a sure sign that the romance is coming to an end. Suddenly, what seemed nice and funny in your partner becomes disgusting – whether it be biting nails, loud laughter or inability to wash dishes. When what annoys you in your partner becomes more than what you like about him, it’s time to say goodbye to the relationship. Both parties in a relationship deserve to be appreciated and respected. Just imagine, for example, how much happier you will become as soon as you finally stop finding hair in the sink.

You are afraid to be alone

Some people may think: this relationship is better than nothing. If you keep in touch only because the thought that you have to go to the wedding of friends without a couple or do all the homework yourself is horrifying, perhaps you should think about ending it. 

To stay in a relationship, despite boredom, lack of attraction, or even insult and violence, solely out of fear of being alone is a bad idea. Perhaps you belong to those who “have always been in a relationship” and are simply afraid of the unknown. 

More than ever, it’s important for you to find yourself before you start thinking about what you want from a relationship. 

You wait for your partner to change

Some people prefer to be in an unhealthy relationship because they expect the partner is about to change dramatically. For example, quit smoking, drink less, finally find a well-paid job, well, or do a magical character change operation. 

Here is the cold truth: this will not happen. If there is a certain obvious problem in the relationship, it may seem that its solution will magically correct everything at once. So, for example, couples often hope that the child-birth will immediately fix everything in their relationship. Unfortunately, it won’t. If you are just waiting for some changes, you can pack your bags.

You have lost yourself in a relationship

The important thing here is not to make endless concessions and sacrifices, as a result of which you stop recognizing yourself. Most of us are still more or less worthy individuals who are trying to do the “best.” However, if you are in a relationship that makes you think that you are a bad person and a worthless creature in general, it’s time to look for ways to give it up. 

Frequent debates and abuses, a feeling of jealousy and a lack of sexual satisfaction can wake up the “beast” in each of us. But if you feel that a good attitude has been forever replaced by contempt – leave before it’s too late. No relationship is worth doubting yourself.

 

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