by Jessie Brewin You are an adult, independent girl who knows exactly what she wants from life. And suddenly you start a relationship with a man who is married. Why?
Indeed, the “married man – single woman” syndrome exists. And it’s rather common, which is, of course, a shame. But do you really need that? Let’s figure it out.
Why married guys seem attractive
There are a lot of women who like married men. And there are a number of reasons for that.
- They are mature
If he is married, it means he tends to accomplish things. It’s likely he has a job, steady income. He is quite self-assured and capable of taking responsibility for their actions and the people they surround themselves with. Of course, such a man attracts women’s attention.
- It feels adventurous
Your guilt works like an aphrodisiac. It seems to you that this affair is so clandestine, so forbidden that it makes it so sexy.
- They are probably good at something
If another woman considers a man good enough to marry him, he is probably a real treasure. That means he is not a dum-dum like many other boys you met.
- They make you feel desired
If a married man shows his interest in you, you may think that it’s all because of your beauty, character, vibe. You start to feel more desired than ever before. And you feel good about that, as that means you are better than her.
- You don’t want any commitments
If you aren’t into serious relationships right now, it may seem that a married man is a solution. He won’t want any commitments either. No strings attached is the policy of you both.
Why it isn’t worth it
1. They treat you superficially
A man who is ready to cheat on his wife is not capable of deep, sincere feelings. Imagine he courted his future wife, swore eternal love to her, and now he just as passionately seeks to get your favor. Do you think that with you, he will stay forever? Alas, having reached a certain stage of the relationship, he will start again, but no longer with you. But the wife will stay with him, and you will not.
2. The stigma of a mistress
This status does not go away so quickly and follows you all your life, bringing various troubles to you.
3. Sad holidays
When all mankind is having fun with their families at the New Year tree, wives accept gifts on Mother’s Day, the whole family spends together on weekends, your left alone. Yes, and you will not be able to openly spend your birthday with your beloved. A married man needs to be at home on time and not at someone’s party.
4. Pain brought to all
Breaking a love triangle is always painful. If he decides to leave the family, it will hurt his wife and children. If he decides to return to the family, your heart will be broken.
5. Empty promises
A loving relationship with a married person is like living in a world of illusions. He always promises to change something. You are waiting for the fulfillment of promises. And at this time, life passes, measured in days, months, years. Plans and hopes collapse, longing and depression take their place.
6. Lack of support
To hammer a nail into the wall, to bring heavy bags from the store – such simple “male” duties are often carried out by you yourself. What can we say about helping with repair or support in difficult moments of illness or loss?
7. Empty bed
In the morning, a beloved man does not wake up in your bed. You two do not have a common warm morning, when you can luxuriate, huddled together, or just fool around.
8. Constant waiting
Bright flashes of short meetings amid constant waiting. You always wait for his arrival, then try to delay the time of his departure. And he, having closed the door behind him, goes into his active real life, leaving her in the “waiting room” to amuse herself with memories of short hasty meetings and again wait-wait-wait for his opportunity to “drop in on the light.”
9. Lifetime is running out
So, you spend years in the hope of creating your own family with a stranger’s husband. His children are growing up, but you are left alone. And your time and the opportunity to have your own family, children are irrevocably gone.
10. The energy of love is wasted
Relationships are energy. The girl puts all of herself into something that does not become a natural continuation – a family. You fill the man with yourself, and he brings this fullness to another house, to another woman and children. Your remain devastated, without a husband, without children, and without yourself.
Sleeping with a married man: Advice
If you ask yourself, “Well, a married man wants to sleep with me. What should I do?” Here are a couple of tips for you.
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Stop being his doctor
A man who plays away from home is trying to get what he does not receive in his family or solve some of his deepest problems. Why should his problems be solved by you? Let him either break off those relations officially and build new ones with you or leave you alone.
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Try to deal with yourself
Why do you need this action? Why did you choose a a not single man? What do you get in this relationship? Is it possible to get the same, but in a healthy relationship with a bachelor?
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Realize your own needs
What do you want? Get married? A storm of passions? Are you ready for a painful breakup, and can you get out of this relationship without hurting yourself?
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Analyze your own life
Perhaps this relationship reminds you of something? Maybe someone in childhood or early adolescence did this, and you accepted the possibility of such a relationship. Then you should try to change your life attitudes to new ones.
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Realize that his wife exists
She exists; he lives with her, goes to bed, pleases her on holidays, and takes care of her in difficult times.
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Face it: He doesn’t choose you
You have chosen a man who does not choose you. It hurts. But this is the reality that you really live in.
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Admit your desires to yourself
“I want to be a wife, I want to fall asleep and wake up in the same bed with my husband in the morning, I want to have joint children, a house, make plans for the future and make them a reality, take care of each other always and everywhere.”
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Break this connection
End this relationship. Let him go to his wife and family. And don’t wait. Live your life. He will either deal with himself, return, but in a different role, or leave forever, making room for another person in your life. But you don’t need to wait for HIS decision. Accept yours. And live. If he comes back to you, think about whether you need him. Will he leave you just as he is leaving his wife now?
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Appreciate yourself
After all, you can be the only one, loved and desired. Just take a deep breath, exhale and start living!
So, next time you catch yourself thinking about sleeping with a married man at work, think twice – do you want your contact in his phone to be called “Plumber” or “Mechanic Bill”?.
