by Jessie Brewin The friend zone is not friendship with a girl; the friend zone is when you are trapped in this zone and are striving for a serious relationship.
If you do not have any romantic feelings for a girl, you are friends with her, this is not the friend zone. To be friends with girls is useful: firstly, because friendship is rewarding in general; and secondly, it is the chance to get to know women from the other side.
The friend zone is a completely different notion. If a girl knows that you want her and maybe even love her, but severely restricts access — that’s the friend zone. You can actually find yourself in a very harmful situation for your self-esteem.
Above all, it is a regulated imbalance. You agree to a lower role, to the conditions that you don’t like, because you are afraid to lose the connection. In addition, this is psychological castration, because you are constantly close to the one that rejected you as a man.
That’s why the friend zone is called a black spot because it’s the death of self-esteem.
So, how to avoid the friend zone? What do men do wrong to get trapped?
1. Puppy dog eyes
Put them away. Seriously, this unfortunate expression on your face is silently telling, “I want to be with you for all my life. Just let me be with you”. This can only enrage a person who is not yet fascinated by you. Do not break cover with bottomless eyes. Keep the faith!
2. Cozying up
Never be under her thumb. Be an individual. No one is interested in people who lick the boots of their love. Try to say no somehow and offer your own version of the development of events. Believe us, this way you will clearly intrigue your mate.
3. Lacking in confidence
Communicate with confidence, do not mumble. No one likes it when people talk diffidently or stutter something. So, cross out all the nonsense of an underconfident person forever from your head. No “But I stopped communicating with my friends for you and knitted a sweater” or similar can help you. Instead, stand tall, keep your shoulders back, keep your spine straight—and speak naturally, slowly, and clearly. You can also try making eye contact as this increases the perceived confidence.
4. Tolerating disrespect
The most terrible thing that can happen in such a relationship is humiliation and ridicule from the person of your dream, especially if she has already guessed the meaning of your puppy eyes. At such a moment, you need to immediately sever ties with her and remember that you are a strong personality that no one has the right to offend.
5. Idealizing too much
Do not regard your object of sympathy as perfect. Most often everyone except you sees the things as they really are. You need to get out of your ivory tower and realize how you are treated in reality. Use your smart brain to analyze the situation objectively. And don’t even try to justify the strange actions of a person just because you love her to bits.
6. Imitating somebody
Be yourself — handsome and confident, with your unique outlook, values, and interests. And if the whole set of your breathtaking qualities does not make her heart freeze in awe, accept this with honor and calmly move on. There are plenty more fish in the sea.
7. Acting on her terms
Don’t agree on friendship. Remember, you deserve more. Well, how can you continue to communicate with the person you love if she openly (or even with hints) makes it clear that she does not want you? Yes, it’s hard to do, but it’s better to stop communication. Otherwise, you can seriously ruin your life with such friendship.
8. Not flirting
You need to approach your lady, looking at the lady inside her and demonstrating this very vision.
This means nothing like “Let’s go get some fun” will work. Instead, be careful, tactful, and cheerful. In other words, you need to flirt. This is one of the most successful ways to start a rapprochement. If a girl is not interested in a serious relationship, flirting will save her face and inner sense of ease. Try to make flirting look beautiful and easy, you need to keep it at the level of a joke.
9. Not respecting her borders
If she keeps saying no for a couple of months, try to respect her boundaries and give up the idea. Respect for borders is not an abstraction; it is the behavior based on feedback. Moreover, there is a saying, “Treat them mean, keep them keen,” which is quite true sometimes. Should she see that you are not interested in her anymore, she will try to win you back.
If you manage to adhere to these tips, then no girl will succeed in sending you to the friend zone.
