by Barbara Anderson Marriage, the start of a family, is a serious step in every person’s life, and a sacred institution in a lot of cultures, especially in India. Both young and experienced people recognize the importance of this event, but their marriage perception can differ. Young people often want to choose their future husband or wife on their own, while their parents tend to respect the traditions, rituals, as well as religious, social, and cultural norms.
It is vital to avoid falling out between youngsters and parents if children want to get married to their dearie. So, let’s discuss how to build communication with parents and how to convince your parents for love marriage.
#1. Try to be close to your parents
If your and your parents’ mindset doesn’t coincide, it is no reason to ignore them or replace them with friends, studies, or personal life. It often happens even if children love and respect their parents. It is crucial for you to encourage your parents to accept your wish to marry the person you choose. So, you need to build a friendly relationship with your parents: spend time together, discuss important things, tell them about your personal life.
You can create or tell them the story, similar to your case, to see parents’ reactions and understand what they think about it. For example, it can look like this: “Mom, did I tell you about my university classmate Tulika? Her sister wanted to get married to the guy from different communities and caste, so there were a lot of difficulties. But their parents accepted him, so the wedding took place, and now they live happily. It seems strange, what do you think about it?”
Your parents’ reaction will show their opinion and what you should expect.
#2. Tell parents your opinion about marriage
If you are at a certain age, you can share your thoughts about marriage with your parents.
During your conversation, you can casually highlight what is more or less important for you in your future life partner. For example, the caste, community, or creed are not significant, primarily, you want to see the level of education of your partner, your compatibility, how he or she supports you and shares your mind, etc. All parents dream about their children’s wedding and happy family life, so your parents will listen to you.
They can support you, share their opinion, or take it unseriously. So, you should come back to this discussion from time to time and make it in a soft tone without rebellion. Focus on your vision and the philosophy of family life.
#3. Make one of your parents your Cupid
So, sometime later, after you shared your thoughts with your parents and watched their reaction, you can choose the one who took your part more often reacted in a calmer way. This parent will be your Cupid, and you should tell him or her about your to-be life partner. Your mother or father can be shocked, but you should be patient and explain your choice.
Avoid being too emotional, it shows your immaturity in your parents’ eyes. So, instead of declarations that he or she is a love of all your life, you should tell how your partner meets your expectations about your future family. Focus on her or his education, career, achievements, character, views of life, how he or she supports you, etc.
Don’t turn your talk into your monologue but listen to what your parent says and try to understand mother or father concerns and fears. Answer their questions and calm them down, showing that most of their fears about the community are unfounded.
#4. Turn to your elder relatives
In case your mother and father don’t accept your choice, you can turn to your elder relatives who have the respect of your parents. If your communication with grandfather and grandmother is good, try to talk with them, they can convince parents to change their minds.
If you have a lot of support from your family members, it is a good chance that your parents will understand and support you too.
#5. Introduce your partner to your parents
Now your parents are ready to meet your partner, so let them take time to understand and accept each other. You told your parents about your boyfriend or girlfriend, so prepare him or her for this meeting, tell some short information about your family members.
#6. Time for the bride’s and groom’s families to meet
When your parents know well and accept your partner, it’s time to organize the meeting for both families to agree on the date of the happy ceremony.
If you are in such a situation, you should stay calm, patient, and positive. Try to understand your parents and remember that they love you and wish you all the best.
