by Jessie Brewin People can be annoying, toxic, intrusive, offensive. All sorts of things. Even the ones we love. And one day, it becomes impossible to continue such a relationship, whether it is friendship or romance, or you are a family. It’s then when you need to distance yourself from this person. First of all, to keep your mental health to yourself.
So, why not learn how to fight these dementors?
Why we need to emotionally detach ourselves sometimes
- To forget about negativity and be mentally healthy. Our world is full of ‘various unpleasant stuff’ that you can’t control. But what you can control is the people you surround yourself with. If they add negativity or somehow make you feel not okay, it’s better to get these people out of your life.
- To keep your energy. Usually, difficult people drain all your energy. If you notice how tired you become after communicating with certain people, get these people out of your life.
- To teach these people a lesson. Oh, some people deserve this lesson. Show that their behavior is unacceptable, and if they want you in their life, they had better rethink their philosophy.
- When the person you like doesn’t like you back. If somebody can’t accept your feelings, you can do nothing but get these people out of your life.
Who those people you need to distance yourself from are
- Those who are dependent on you. They always need something from you: your help, your presence, your love and attention, your advice, your money, or whatever you have to offer. They cling on to you, and they don’t bring you positive emotions.
- Those who are always negative around you. They complain and complain, and complain. They are masters of complaining, and that makes you stress out.
- Those who love to complicate things. They love chaos and make your life a mess. They act irrational and make you do the same.
- Narcissistic people. These people are obnoxious. You don’t feel good when they are around: they don’t show much empathy, you don’t get much validation from them. They speak about themselves – you are not of much importance to them.
- Liars. All people lie sometimes, but if close people lie to you oftentimes, that’s the reason to detach yourself from them.
How to emotionally detach yourself from someone
1. Be honest and tell this person how you feel
Give this person a chance to ‘redeem themselves’. Be calm and say what you think. Some people will react positively and will try to change something. If not, proceed to the second move.
2. Distance slowly
Start small:
- do not answer their messages and call immediately. Increase the time of your response gradually.
- no intimate talks. Speak superficially.
- do not agree to meet, help, etc often.
Increase this distance more and more.
3. Focus on people you like
There must be great people in your social circle who you like. It’s worth developing relationships with them.
If you don’t have such, go and find, make new friends. Yes, it will be more difficult, but it’s within your power.
4. Now breathe again
Once you detach yourself emotionally, estimate your environment. There should be only people you like to be around. This way, once you realize that ‘yep, I did my best to surround myself with people who bring positivity and make me feel good”, congratulate yourself. You just improved your life.
What we want you to think about
Think about one thing: if interaction with somebody makes you feel irritated or sad, maybe it is not only that person to blame. Maybe it’s you who behaves badly and causes that person to respond the same way.
Analyze your own behavior, discuss the situation with this difficult person, and listen to their arguments.
Plus, you don’t have to sever all ties with this person for good. It may happen that with time (weeks, months, and sometimes years), your relationship may change and go in the right direction as, you know, people change.
Now, you know everything about how to distance yourself from someone. We hope this article will be useful for you. Don’t forget to leave a comment with your opinion below!
Thanks for reading,
Your Flisk
