by Teresa Greenleaf The importance of the first meeting is hard to overestimate. Choosing the right life partner affects our happiness and well-being.
From the questionnaire, we can find out when the person was born, where he/she works, and what caste belongs to. But this does not reveal the character of the person. Such information can be obtained only in a personal meeting.
Let ’discuss how to prepare for an arranged marriage first meeting.
1. Preparation
- Before the meeting, carefully explore the profile of the chosen one and highlight all incomprehensible moments.
- Be prepared to answer questions about yourself.
- No need to dress as if for a business meeting. Keep in mind that the chosen one’s family can be very conservative, so pick up something in a traditional style. If family members are modern, then you can choose clothes in a western style.
- Remember that the outcome of the first meeting largely depends on appearance.
2. Venue
The environment affects the behavior of the person, which makes the choice of a place for the first meeting a crucial part of preparation. The ideal option is a neutral zone, for example, a cafe.
If you are too nervous, you can take a friend or relative with you, but they should leave at the right time.
3. Topics to discuss
Do not worry and talk about non-essential things first, order coffee. You can start with a compliment on the style or hairstyle. Remember, the partner is no less nervous.
When you relax a bit, talk about the arranged marriage and life goals:
- job;
- accommodation;
- religion;
- diet;
- children;
- divorce if that happened;
- health issues;
- anything else you find necessary to discuss.
Remember that time is limited, so focus on the most important issues.
- Will you need to live with relatives? Who will care for them?
- Discuss how many children you would like to have and at what stage in your life you will be ready to have them. This is especially important for a woman since it is likely that she will have to refuse or at least suspend her career. Find an acceptable option for everyone.
- Religion plays an important role in the life of Hindus; therefore, it is a very important point for discussion. If you have strong religious beliefs or have requirements that your partner must follow, then you should discuss them now. This is especially important if you plan to live with your family or relatives.
- If your potential partner had a divorce experience, then ask him/her about this. Divorce is still considered a taboo in India. However, treat the person with understanding, because it could be a painful experience. If you are divorced, then the most reasonable way is to initiate an explanation yourself. This will help to stop the negative thoughts of the interlocutor.
Ideally, you will have several meetings with your partner to make the final arranged marriage decision. Leave for later all less significant topics.
4. Body language
Pay particular attention to the other person’s body language during the conversation. Which questions make him nervous, and which seem uncomfortable for him/her.
Remember, you have some time to get to know someone before deciding to spend the rest of your life with him/her. The last thing you would like to do is to marry someone who cannot control their anger and ultimately get to worsen the statistics of domestic violence.
5. Further meetings
At the end of your first meeting, thank the person for coming. But do not immediately agree on the next meeting. Give yourself time to think about new experiences.
If everything suits you, contact the person and arrange the next meeting.
- Better to arrange the 2nd meeting at home. If you agreed to move to his/her parents at the first meeting, you should agree that the second meeting should be at their place of residence.
- It’s time to discuss lower priority issues, for example, the desire to travel. Share your hobbies and look for everything that you can have in common.
- Having changed the atmosphere of the meeting, pay attention to any changes in the body language or the mood of the potential partner.
- If the partner’s parents are present, then communicate with them. Relationships with parents may be as important as relationships with a partner. If you cannot get along with your new relatives, then your arranged marriage will be full of conflicts.
The first meeting is always an exciting event, but do not be afraid. Take advantage of our tips and good luck!
