by Teresa Greenleaf “I could not marry my girlfriend from another caste, as my sister would have had no chance of marriage.”
“My friend was abused because her boyfriend was from another caste.”
“I am condemned for inter-caste marriage.”
In modern India, most people adhere to the traditional marriage system. Marriage is sacred and means the union of not only two people, but also two families. In the West, a young family usually lives separately, while in India the system of a joint family prevails. The parents of the newlyweds have much more influence on their lifestyle.
The arranged marriage system is still extremely popular in India. One of the basic principles is to follow strict caste rules: Hindus marry Hindus within the same community. It is believed that inter-caste relations lead to difficulties not only for spouses but also for entire families. The community can boycott them or they face social ridicule. Inter-caste marriages also result in honor killings, although it is prohibited by the Supreme Court of India.
Although nowadays the situation is changing, and people are more open to inter-caste and inter-religious marriages, it is still more about the urban population. Even in the most liberal circles, inter-caste marriage is related to many problems that the couple and family face almost daily.
What is inter-caste marriage?
The marriage of people from different castes is called inter-caste marriage. According to the Indian Human Development Survey, only 5% of marriages in India are inter-caste marriages. This proves that they are stigmatized even in the 21st century.
It is still believed that parents should seek partners for their children because they know it better.
How successful are inter-caste marriages?
The most successful inter-caste marriages are for political and economic reasons.
Why are inter-caste marriages not welcomed?
Inter-caste marriage is a destruction of a centuries-old tradition and a hierarchical system. There are strict rules and regulations within the caste that are unacceptable in another caste. For example, someone eats meat, and someone is a vegetarian. Adaptation to the lifestyle of another person is a huge obstacle.
Many people worry about spoiling a pure surname by a union with a member of another caste.
Honor killing is a widespread occurrence in Indian states such as Rajasthan, Uttar Pradesh, and Haryana, which prevents couples from mixing castes.
In the modern global world, it would be wrong to divide people according to the principles invented centuries ago. However, ignoring them is also impossible.
Inter-caste marriages are characterized by some unique problems that we will now discuss.
14 inter-caste marriage problems
1. Family renunciation
This is one of the main problems faced by people entering into inter-caste marriages. Their families cease to communicate with them: do not help, do not visit, do not even talk.
2. Ostracism by the community
People from the environment ignore the existence of the couple. In rural areas, they may even be prohibited from staying in their village.
Since inter-caste marriage is not the norm in Hindu society, the couple faces great social pressure. For example, not every landlord will rent you an apartment. A couple may have no friends or relatives who are willing to provide any help in such a case.
4. Lifestyle differences
Partners have a different lifestyle and culture, as they belong to different castes. Often value systems have little in common as well. This means that they must adjust and take this diversity into account. Otherwise, these differences can cause a lot of disputes.
5. Сonstant intervention of family members in the couple’s life
Even if families approve inter-caste marriage, you can see that family members constantly interfere in the life of the couple. They always try to impose their orders and caste norms. Under such pressure, love usually fades into the background, and the couple becomes absorbed in caste politics.
6. Disregard
If one of the partners believes that his caste is better, this will create behavioral problems. Neglect over time will create a deep crack in the relationship. This is one of the biggest problems of inter-caste marriage.
7. Life threats
Honor killings are extremely common in the country. Even the recorded cases of such incidents are counted in hundreds. In some cases, couples have to quit or move to a new country so as not to worry about their lives.
8. Financial problems
The couple does not receive support from their families and, possibly, even friends. Usually, most of the things needed in everyday life are given by relatives at the wedding. For example, a bride’s relative gives a refrigerator. Without this, the newlyweds have two salaries (if they both work) to make ends meet. In this regard, financial problems arise, which leads to an additional test for union strength.
9. Career
Inter-caste marriage may not be approved by the employer. In addition to an unfriendly attitude in a team, a person can be fired.
10. Mockery
After the wedding, the couple gets ridiculed by both relatives and friends. For example, a wife may be criticized for her sense of style, her appearance, etc. Spouses are not always able to protect each other against such attacks.
11. Raising children
For example, spouses may not agree on what religion or caste children should belong to. What holidays should be celebrated, which gods should be worshiped, what cultural ethics should be shared – and this can affect relationships.
12. Psychological fatigue
When expectations are not met, the couple may regret their decision and blame each other.
13. Children discrimination of an inter-caste couple
It is not clear which caste or religion the child should belong to. Because of this, these children may have problems with socialization.
14. Inheritance
An inter-caste couple may have to deal with property disputes as their families do not accept them.
Tips for overcoming inter-caste marriage problems
- Confidential communication, understanding and love in inter-caste marriage will help establish strong and lasting relationships.
- The couple should be liberal. Respect each other’s native rituals.
- Educate children so that caste, religion, etc. do not interfere with their growth and development.
The inter-caste couple has to endure many family problems and troubles to be together and have a happy family life. Being ready to solve these problems and constantly support each other, the inter-caste couple can succeed in family life.
